A Personal Testament of Domestic Violence (Sad Story)

Sunday, November 19, 2009 changed my life forever. As I was coming out of church, I received a call saying that I needed to come to my sister Wendy’s house because something bad had happened. Sometime during the night, her husband, Tom had made the decision to put a gun to my sister’s head as she was passed out drunk at her computer desk and then he pulled the trigger. He then turned the gun on himself, shooting himself in the head as well. His body fell under the kitchen table right behind the computer desk where my sister lay dead. Their bodies were discovered by their 3 youngest children and a classmate of one the next morning as they got up to get ready for Sunday school. They had to walk through the blood to get out of the house. Wendy and Tom had been together for almost 20 years. Throughout those years they had argued and fought so many times that it became a way of life for them. While Wendy didn’t use drugs, she did drink her beer, in the evenings, I guess to numb her pain. While she tried to leave him a couple of times, he always talked her into coming back. As bad as I hate to admit it, Wendy was not always innocent when it came to these fights, she would get drunk and do things that instigated Tom into a fight. She would slash his tires, bust his car windows…etc. Tom on the other hand, in addition to alcohol, used drugs, pills (OxyContin), marijuana, and only God knows what else. In the months before the murder/suicide, he had been diagnosed with cancer in his lymph node on his neck. Although he was cured, this increased his addiction to pain killers. He began to beat my sister on a regular basis, even breaking 2 of her ribs a few months before. Tom had become convinced that Wendy was cheating on him, which was never proven. Whatever his reason was, he had no right to take my sister’s life or even his own for that matter. This tragedy changed all of our lives forever. The shock, the violence and horror of it all was just too much to take in. But, through God’s Grace, His Mercy and His example of forgiveness, most of us have been able to move on with our lives. My sister and her husband never got to watch their 5 children grow up and get married, they will never get to hold their beautiful grandchildren, or watch them crawl and walk for the first time. They will never get to hear the words Grandpa or Grandma. Alcohol, drugs and violence stole this joy from them. I pray that if anyone is reading this and they are in a violent relationship that they will get out of it immediately! Love should not hurt! It should not degrade or disrespect. Get out while you are still breathing! It could take just one moment, one hit to take your life! Don’t let my sister’s fate become yours!! Author- Lynn Smith

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